- Learn the bird's body language - learn what postures and behaviors indicate that the bird is stressed or relaxed. At any sign of stress, back away, and stay back until the bird has relaxed.
- Take it one step at a time, and take very small steps. Is the bird relaxed when you are sitting near the cage? If not, try placing yourself a few feet away. Is the bird relaxed when your hand is inside the cage? If not, try putting your hand on the outside of the cage - or on a surface just outside of the cage, if necessary.
- Make every interaction a rewarding one. At first this means that any time the bird sees you, it should get a reward. Later this may mean that any time the bird touches you, it should get a reward; later, any time the bird comes to you (and/or steps up) it should get a reward.
- Do not allow the bird to bite you, ever. See the "how not to get bit" article for more information.
- Have a training session every day. By "training session" I means a block of time set aside every day where the bird gets many opportunities to receive rewards from you (or better yet, opportunities to earn rewards). Initially you'll only be training the bird to look forward to your stopping by with a treat; later you can progress to earned rewards rewards, by teaching simple behaviors like stepping up, waving or beaking a chopstick.
- Find a way to reward the bird. None of the stuff described above really works unless you have a way to reward the bird. Initially this might be as simple as dropping a favorite treat in the bird's bowl, and then leaving the room - that way the bird has two things it wants - something tasty, and freedom from the scary person. If you cannot find a treat that the bird wants, try removing the bird's food from its cage after breakfast, and see if it shows more interest in treats in the evenings. Use treats to reward the bird during a training session, then return the food to the cage and let the bird enjoy a full meal. Note that I am not suggesting that you give the bird anything less than the amount of food it needs - I'm only suggesting that you postpone dinner until after a training session. This is a mild form of food management that has no health risks whatsoever. Keep the reward treats small - that allows you to do more training repetitions before the bird is satiated. For cockatiels and budgies, a single millet seed may suffice. Note that even big birds like the large macaws and large cockatoos will work for something as small as a safflower seed or fraction of a nut.
- Move in slow motion - sudden motions on your part may be sufficient to frighten the bird. If you can get into the habit of moving slowly whenever you're interacting with the bird, you may be able to earn more trust in less time. I find this helpful even with parrots that are essentially tame (for example, they're friendly with their owners) but that do no know me personally yet. Sudden movements make them wary, and force me to back up a little bit and regain their trust.
- After you have found a treat that the bird likes - one that the bird will work for - know that you can use the treat to lure the bird into a new behavior. For example, if your bird does not want to step up, try holding a treat just out of treat and offering your finger as a "bridge" to get to the treat.
- Remember that you can return the bird to its favorite place as a reward. In the example above, once the bird has stepped onto your hand to get the treat, you should allow the bird to immediately step right back onto its perch. As the bird becomes more comfortable stepping onto your hand, this will be less necessary, but initially you want the bird to know that although you are asking it to get outside its comfort zone, it only needs to be outside that comfort zone for a very short time. (This applies to more advanced training as well - when I was teaching Phoebe to fetch, I generally rewarded her by letting her eat a safflower seed on my shoulder before putting her back on the table where she was learning to fetch.)
Here is a list of things you can do to help earn your bird's trust, using the principles above. If you are faced with the "before" behavior, try using the principles above and the practices below to teach your bird the "after" behavior.
Before: You walk into the room, the bird runs to the far side of the cage.
After: You walk into the room, the bird climbs over to its food bowl.
As many times per day as possible, walk to the bird's cage, drop a treat into its bowl, and walk away.
Before: You come near the cage, the bird lunges in an attempt to bite.
After: You come near the cage, the bird just keeps a close eye on you.
Two suggestions: first, spend as much time as possible just sitting near the bird's cage, being nonthreatening, and dropping a small treat into the bird's bowl every minute or so (not long after it has finished eating the previous treat). Second, any time the bird lunges at you, just walk out of the room, and leave the bird in solitude for a while. Initially, the bird might perceive your leaving the room might as a reward, but after it learns that treats are plentiful when you're around, it will probably stop wanting to drive you away.
Before: You try to feed the bird through the cage, the bird lunges in an attempt to bite.
After: You try to feed the bird through the cage, the bird eats from your hand.
Use the same practices described in the previous example, but give the bird an opportunity to take the treat from your hand, rather than simple dropping the treat into the bowl. If the bird lunges, leave the room. If the bird just watches your hand from a safe distance, let your hand linger for a few seconds, then drop the treat into the bowl. Gradually extend the time you hold the treat.
If the bird will come closer, but not actually take the treat from your hand, try dropping the treat into the bowl when the bird moves closer to you. If the bird will come within 12 inches of your hand, but no closer, drop the treat when the bird comes to within 12 inches.... and after several repetitions of that, withhold the treat until the bird comes to within 10 or 11 inches - then drop the treat into the bowl.
Before:You put your hand into the cage, holding a treat, the bird runs to the far corner of the cage.
After:You put your hand into the cage, holding a treat, the bird takes the treat from your hand.
This is left as an exercise for the reader. :-)
Before: You put your hand into the cage, invite the bird to step up, and the bird scoots away or threatens to bite.
After: You invite the bird to step up, and the bird steps up.
This is described above, in the section on using treats to lure.
This is not simply a recipie that must be followed, these are merely some ideas to help you progress, and to help illustrate how to go about earning a bird's trust, step by step. If you have questions or suggestions, please use the comment form at the bottom of the page!
P.S. Some people claim that you can tame a bird in an afternoon if you towel it or use sticks to gently push it around and prevent it from being able to bite you. I am extremely wary of the long-term ramifications of the methods these people use, and prefer instead to take as slow approach, never forcing the bird to do anything, and always rewarding the bird for every demonstration of trust - and rewarding doubly for a showing more trust than the bird has shown before.